COMMUNITY STANDARDS

By joining Uphold, you agree to follow these Community Standards. They apply to every member, in every match, at all times. If you're ever unsure what's expected, start here.

Why these standards exist

Uphold connects parents and caregivers of transgender and gender-diverse children for one-on-one conversations. Many of our members are protecting their kids in places where that's hard, or even risky. These standards exist so you can speak honestly and trust that it stays between the two of you.

Stay engaged

Your participation is what makes Uphold work. The caregiver in your match set aside time for you, and they're counting on you to show up.

If a scheduling conflict comes up and you can't make your match for the week, please use the rescheduling link in your match emails. Repeated no-shows may lead to removal from Uphold.

Who can join

Uphold is for parents and caregivers of transgender, gender-diverse, and gender-questioning children of any age. Members must be 18 or older.

Membership requires an active subscription or an approved need-based membership.

Judgment-free zone

Members arrive at very different points. Some have been affirming their child for years. Some found out last week and are overwhelmed, grieving, or confused. Both belong here.

Be open to conversations you didn't expect. You may be matched with someone whose family, faith, politics, or hometown looks nothing like yours. That's often where the most useful conversations happen.

Uphold affirms transgender and gender-diverse people. Use the names and pronouns other members use for their children. If you're not sure, ask.

It's okay to say you're struggling, or that you got something wrong. It's not okay to argue that another member's child isn't who they say they are, or to pressure someone toward a decision about their child.

Bullying will not be tolerated.

What happens here, stays here

What's shared in Uphold stays in Uphold. Don't repeat, post, screenshot, or forward anything another member tells you without their clear permission. Never share your match's personal or private information.

Recording of any kind, including audio, video, or screenshots, is prohibited.

Uphold keeps only the information needed to run the network, such as your profile and match history.

Connecting outside of Uphold

We hope you meet caregivers you want to stay in touch with. Uphold doesn't share your contact information with your matches, so if you'd like to stay in touch, we suggest agreeing on how as the last thing you talk about. Share only what you're comfortable with.

Talking about laws and politics

Laws and policies affect many of our families directly, and you're welcome to talk about how they affect yours.

What doesn't belong in a match: campaigning for candidates, asking for votes or donations, or partisan advocacy that isn't about your family's own experience.

No medical or professional advice

Members share what worked for their own families. That's the whole point. But no one in a match is acting as a doctor, therapist, or lawyer, even if that's their day job. Don't give or ask for medical or legal advice, and talk to a qualified professional before making medical or legal decisions.

In case of crisis

Uphold isn't a crisis service. If you or your child are in immediate danger, call 911. If your child is thinking about suicide, call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or contact The Trevor Project, 1-866-488-7386

Removal

We have zero tolerance for harassment. Derogatory language about anyone's gender identity, sexual orientation, race, religion, disability, political views, or life circumstances will result in immediate removal. So will threatening anyone, or collecting or sharing information about other members or their children.

Members may not encourage anyone to break the law.

Uphold may warn, suspend, or remove any member who doesn't follow these standards.

To report a violation, use upholdtogether.org/contact. We'll handle every report as discreetly as we can.

Changes to these standards

Uphold may update these standards and will tell members about significant changes before they take effect.

Questions? Reach us at: upholdtogether.org/contact

Effective as of 09.01.202